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Building Relationships With Each Other




Here are some simple ways to build community in a small group. (this is a modified post that was borrowed from Josh Harris who borrowed it from Michael Hyatt).

Ask open-ended questions. These are questions that lead people to elaborate and give us some insight into them as a person. For example,


* What is your idea of a perfect vacation?

* If you could design your ideal job, what would it look like?

* What is the best book you have read in the last 12 months and why?

* What is the most important lesson you learned from your father?

* When is your very favorite thing about your spouse?

* If you were by yourself, and could listen to any music you want, what it be?

* If you could spend a day with anyone on the planet, who would it be?

* What it is like to be your friend? or to be married to you?

* If you were suddenly the President of the U.S., what would you do first?

* Looking back over your life, what would you describe as your proudest moment?

Ask a second question. The most interesting conversations come after the initial answer. It takes extraordinary discipline to refrain from answering your own question and, instead. answer a second question. Yet this is where the deepest conversations occur. I like to ask questions like these as follow-up questions:


* How did it feel when that happened?

* Can you elaborate on that?

* Why do you think that is important to you?

* Do you think you would have answered the same way five years ago?

* What emotion do you feel when you describe that?

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Here is a great exercise for a new group. The instructions are pretty simple. Go around the group giving each person the opportunity to choose one question and answer it honestly. Anyone can follow-up with an opinion or clarifying question (no critiquing each other's answers, though). Once a question has been answered, no one else may answer that question.

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Matthew 5:23-24.
23"Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.

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1After this the Lord appointed seventy-two[a] others and sent them two by two ahead of him to every town and place where he was about to go. 2He told them, "The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field. 3Go! I am sending you out like lambs among wolves. 4Do not take a purse or bag or sandals; and do not greet anyone on the road.

5"When you enter a house, first say, 'Peace to this house.' 6If a man of peace is there, your peace will rest on him; if not, it will return to you. 7Stay in that house, eating and drinking whatever they give you, for the worker deserves his wages. Do not move around from house to hous…