Creative Community

Currently, I'm trying to post a few times a week summaries of chapters from books I've read over the past few years. These are the books that have really informed my thinking on discipleship and small groups. Hopefully, they'll provide a good opportunity for you to think through some of these same thoughts.

Today, I'm looking at chapter two from the book The Search to Belong by Joe Myers. This chapter is entitled, "Longing to Belong."

Belonging means different things to different people. According to Myers, "belonging happens when you identify with another entity -- a person or organization, or perhaps a species, culture, or ethnic group." Myers points out that belonging is not necessary reciprocal as Bob may feel he belongs to a group while others in the group may not sense that Bob truly belongs.

In a church setting, people often want to know what it means to "belong". Must one become a member to belong? Do they need to be part of an official small group. Can one belong if they aren't sure they agree with the doctrine? Is it possible to belong if you haven't become a Christian? Every church culture (either formally or informally) has different answers to these questions. These are all questions people have about belonging, and their relationship with others in the church will be deeply impacted by the answers to these questions.

Myers says, "There are those who belong to our congregations who have not asked permission to do so. They connect with the congregation and they choose to belong. Sometimes they decide to follow our rules of engagement; at other times they create their own. Yet make no mistake; their experience of belonging is significant in their lives."

In other words, sometimes people believe they belong to a church, even though they may have NO relational connection to the church. However, they've chosen it to be "their church".

But is this healthy? As Christians, and as members of the body of Christ, we must give significant thought to the question, "to whom do we belong?" and the question, "who belongs to us?" How would Jesus answer this question? He said the second greatest command is to love our neighbor as ourselves. He then defined neighbor (using the parable of the good Samaritan) as anyone with whom we come into contact.

Was Jesus saying that we belong to everyone? Was he saying everyone belongs to us?

Maybe a better word to use is the word "responsible". Who am I responsible for? Who is responsible for me? As we consider the role of small groups in the discipleship process, this may be one of the most important questions we ask. It's easy to say, "I'm responsible for those in my group." But does that meet Jesus' definition of neighbor? What about those who have no group? Who is responsible for them?

Can anyone in the group recite all ten commandments? in order?

Together read Exodus 20:1-17.

Which of the ten is the easiest to obey? Which of the ten is the most difficult?

As a group (or you can assign this to different individuals) go through each of the ten commandments and discuss the following:

• What would cause someone to not obey this command?
  
• What is a modern day example of how someone might break this command?
• How would you rewrite this command in a positive way? (3 and 4 are already positive, so you can just rewrite them in your own words)

1. You must not have any other Gods before me.
2. You must not make any idols or bow down to them.
3. You must not misuse the name of God.
4. Remember to keep the Sabbath holy.
5. Honor your father and mother.
6. You must not commit murder.
7. You must not commit adultery.
8. You must not steal.
9. You must not testify falsely against your neighbor.
10. You must not covet anything that belongs to your neighbor.

What new thoughts do you have about the ten commandments after this discussion?

Which commands are you going to focus on this week? How can this group pray for you?

What was the worst job you ever had? What made it so bad?

Exodus 12 is about God's rescue of Israel from slavery. If you had been a slave your entire life, what do you think would bother you the most?

• I can never do what I want to do
• My boss doesn't care about me or my health
  
• All my work is for someone else's benefit
• There is no hope for my children's future

Read Exodus 12:40-42. As the people were leaving Egypt, what kinds of thoughts do you think were going through their mind?

The night God freed Israel, he killed the firstborn son of every Egyptian family. The Israelite children were saved if they sprinkled the blood of a lamb on the door. Why do you think God chose a lamb for this symbol?

Read John 1:29 and 1 Corinthians 5:7. Why is Jesus called a lamb? How is the symbol of Jesus as a lamb parallel to the symbol in Exodus 20?

Read Romans 6:16-18

What kind of sins hold people in slavery?

What do you think it means to be freed from sin?

How does someone who is freed from sin live differently than someone who is still enslaved to sin?

Every year the Jewish people celebrate the Passover and their freedom from slavery in Egypt. How do we celebrate our freedom from sin? How can this group celebrate our freedom from sin?

Currently, I'm trying to post a few times a week summaries of chapters from books I've read over the past few years. These are the books that have really informed my thinking on discipleship and small groups. Hopefully, they'll provide a good opportunity for you to think through some of these same thoughts.

Today, I'm looking at chapter two from the book "Why Small Groups". This chapter is an essay written by John Loftness entitled, "Fellowship Rediscovered."

Fellowship is one of those "Christian" words that we use at church but not really in any other part of life. Often for Baptists, fellowship is tied very closely to food. However, fellowship is a biblical word that can teach us about our relationships if we work to understand what it really means. In this chapter, Loftness writes a few thoughts of definition regarding fellowship. He writes:

• "fellowship", as it is found in the English Bible, is a translation of the Greek word koinonia...Here the Revised Standard Version of the Scriptures can help. It translates koinonia as "fellowship" but also as "participation" and "sharing".
• What is fellowship as defined in the New Testament? Just this: participating together in the life and truth made possible by the Holy Spirit through our union with Christ.
• Fellowship is sharing something in common on the deepest possible level of human relationship -- our experience of God himself.

Loftness also points to 1 John 1 to remind us that fellowship with each other is impossible if we don't first enjoy fellowship with God. If we are walking in the light, then we will be able to share our lives with others who are also walking in the light.

Loftness points to the one another commands as the "household rules" for God's community, and he highlights several "means" or methods of fellowshipping together:

• Worship God together
• Pray for one another
• Utilize our spiritual gifts
• Carry one another's burdens
• Share about our spiritual experiences
• Confess our sins to one another
• Correct one another
• Serve one another in practical ways

Following this list, Loftness points out some hindrances to fellowship which every group should be aware of:

• Self-suffiency -- We need each other, for different people have different gifts. To say that we can become who God wants us to be without benefit of fellowship is as inaccurate as saying that a body can be fully functional without eyes or hands or ears.
• Formality -- The needs and issues of our lives change, and so should the content and topics of our meetings, for the Spirit is constantly at work in our lives to conform us to Christ's image in specific ways.
• Bitterness -- Bitterness is a sinful reaction to something gone awry in a relationship. Unfulfilled expectations, offended pride, jealousy, gossip, and slander can, if left unchecked, lead to bitterness.
• Elitism -- A condescending attitude toward those whom we deem less mature than ourselves quenches fellowship -- or turns it into a narrow one-way street.

Finally, Loftness concludes with several suggestions for developing deeper fellowship in the context of a small group:

• Ask. Get past the "How are you doing?" and begin asking "How is God working in your life right now?"
• Volunteer. Choose to volunteer information about your own internal state, not simply to relieve the problem of loneliness but to gain their honest evaluation, support, and suggestions.
• Take advantage of ready-made opportunities. As moments present themselves, don't be afraid to set aside your pre-planned agenda. The Holy Spirit knows better than you what your group needs.
• Be creative. Find opportunities outside your normal meeting time to be together, to share the journey and to participate in one another's lives.

According to Loftness, "A good small group is like the best of families. Good families take responsibility for each other. Good families are honest with each other. Good families take care of each other. Good families deal with their problems. Good families love each other -- no one is lonely. Good families love and respect the head of the household -- in our case the one we call Father and Lord."

What are two or three possessions you would never want to part with? Why?

Why is giving things up often so difficult? What are some situations when giving things up is very easy?

Read Genesis 12:1. God tells Abraham (still called "Abram" in this passage) to leave his city, his friends, and his family (each translation differs, but this is a close approximation).

Which of these three do you think would be most difficult to leave (city, friends, family)? Why?

Why do you think God asked Abraham to leave? Why couldn't he have stayed where he was and received God's blessing?

Read Luke 9:57-62. What did Jesus say these people needed to leave behind in order to follow him?

Read Matthew 19:16-22. What did Jesus say this person needed to leave behind in order to follow him?

If Jesus were to interact with people today, what kinds of things do you think he would tell them to leave behind in order to follow him?

What are the things you think God might be telling you to leave behind so that you can follow him? Why is this hard to do?

How can this group encourage you as you seek to follow God?

Do you like to be flattered? Why or why not?

When is flattery good? When is it bad?

Read Genesis 3:1-5. How did the serpent "flatter" Eve?

In what ways was the serpent's message a "feel good" message?

Read Genesis 3:6-7. Did the serpent's promises come true? Why or why not?

Would you rather have someone tell you the painful truth, or would you rather have them save you the pain by leaving you in the dark? Why?

Read Genesis 3:14-19. What part of these verses is most depressing? Why?

With which of these verses can you identify? How have you experienced the truth of these words?

Most of God's words in these verses are descriptive of different kinds of dysfunction that resulted from Adam and Eve's sin. How have you observed the sin of others (or your own) create dysfunction?

Why do you think God wanted Adam and Eve to know what the results of their choice were going to be? How do you think these words benefited them?

What was God's solution to the dysfunction caused by Adam and Eve? How does this solution apply to us?

What steps can you take to rely on Christ as the solution for the dysfunction in your life?